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The New Commandments of Beauty

December 23, 2014

"The New Commandments of Beauty" takes a look at some of the funniest beauty offenses that have been secretly accepted as truth; and offers suggestions to help you get back on the right path to beauty maven.

 

They say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" unless of course, the beholder is blind, deaf, and otherwise impaired.  The truth is we've all had a few beauty mishaps and bad hair days.  And on at least one occasion there was a BFF who aided and abetted our transgressions.  But there is a right and a wrong way to do almost everything; and so my dear hearts, there is hope and help for even the most blatant offenders.  Here we go...


1-Thou Shall Not Have Your Make-up Enter The Room Before You Do.
I love self expression but it has its limits.  If I can see your green eyeshadow 10 minutes before I see you, chances are you were a little heavy handed with the glitter.  I support your use of color, but color has its place, and sometimes it's better left in the crayon box.  The colors you choose should always support your skin's natural undertones.  Visit the nearest make-up counter if you're having trouble finding your best shades.  With that said, when you use color you want to make us believe you were born with it.  Yes, you can look like you were born with blue lids.  Your goal is to avoid hard lines and blend, blend, blend.  When you wear fashion colors like green and blue, you want to do what I call "anchoring" the color with a more natural tone.  This also goes for shimmery products too.  (The use of bright silver on the brow bone is so yesterday).  Pick one or two places to use iridescent shades then stop or you'll wind up looking like an out of work clown. 


2-Thou Shall Not Match Your Eyebrow Color to Your Hair Color.
Who do you think you're fooling?  Are we to believe that you were born with fire-engine red hair and brows to match?  Playing the "matchy-matchy" game is a huge no-no in this case.  Eyebrow color should be 1 to 2 shades lighter or darker than the hair on your head- darker for lighter hair and lighter for darker hair (with a few exceptions, of course).  Could you imagine walking around with platinum blonde hair and matching eyebrows?  The top half of your face would disappear leaving a really enormous forehead.  Stick to the rule and you'll create a nice contrast while defining your beautiful features.  PS- if your scalp is also fire-engine red, you might want to get a new colorist.


3-Thou Shall Leave The Sunless Tanner Application To The Experts.
...or at least invest in a good brand that won't turn you that unnatural shade of orange.  Forget the fact that there is nothing healthy about a tan, as it's our body's natural defense against trauma.  But I get it- we want that bronzy, fresh off vacation look in the middle of winter.  So what's a girl to do?  If you can't get in to see your esthetician, there are a lot of over the counter products that won't leave you looking like a terrifically yummy orange-glazed ham. Don't forget exfoliator is your friend.  Without it you'll end up with patches of uneven color.  Use a circular motion when applying self-tanner to achieve the most natural looking results. 


4-Thou Shall Resist The Urge To Put A Razor Anywhere Near Your Face.
Unless your name is Ben and you're preparing for your school's next production of La Cage aux Folles, it's best to leave the shaving to your legs.  Unsightly stubble is at best, minimally attractive on a man.  On a woman, it's downright criminal.  I cringe every time I hear a woman say she shapes her brows with a razor.  Forget the fact that that you can cause yourself serious harm with one misstep, you run the risk of developing horrible razor bumps.  If your beard or brows are dragging you down, there are a full range of hair removal services sure to meet your needs-waxing, sugaring and threading to name a few.  In the meantime, invest in a good pair of tweezers and tweeze in the direction of the hair growth preferably after a shower when the hair is easier to remove.

5-Thou Shall Not Wear Hair Pieces That Do Not Match Your Own Hair Texture (& Color).
Now ladies (and you know who you are), why do you insist on defying this one?  I know you're busy and your life is full of demands leaving you no time to tend to "the little things" so you rely on these quick fixes to make things easier.  I understand...really I do.  However, if your roots need, shall we say, a little "touching up", then please don't hitch Pocahontas' pony tail to the back of Sideshow Bob's wagon.  I mean the whole point is to make us believe you were born that way and that it's possible your hair grew 10 inches overnight.  The fix is simple.  Match the texture and color of the hair extensions to the color and texture of your own hair at the time of application.  On those days when you just can't get it together, wear a stylish little hat with said pony shooting out the back. 


6-Thou Shall Keep It Simple.
I can not stress this enough.  Beauty overdone is not beautiful at all.  So when you are trying to choose the perfect look, less really is more.  Try playing up one feature at a time.  If you're eyes make you smile, then make them your focus.  Use 1 or 2 shades maximum and save the extreme shimmer for after hours.  For all you brides-to-be, this is not the time to re-invent yourself (at least not without a six month head start).  You want your pictures to be timeless, not stuck in a time warp. 

 

Finally, resist the urge to be anyone other than your authentic self.  Do challenge yourself to move beyond your comfort zone by trying something new.  Just remember, don't let someone else's style become your standard.
 

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