Own Your Stuff

In every breakup story in every “rom-com” is this classic line- “It’s not you, it’s me.” That phrase is supposed to make the recipient of the unrequited love feel less liable for the demise of the relationship when (in actuality), it was something they did or said, or some quirk they have that forced their lover to flee. In the real world, I am sure you would love to hear “It’s not you, it’s me” when relationships, both personal and professional, hit a snag. But what if it really is you (not them) who has the problem; and it is you who bears responsibility for setting things right? If that is true, then it is time to address your role in the breakdown or breakup of these relations.

I have found that insecurity (not birth order, zodiac sign, or whatever excuse you credit), is at the heart of the bad behavior we see in the workplace. People have forgotten the lessons we teach little children about being kind, respectful, and extending grace to each other when we fall short. Being aggressive, short-fused, snarky, and otherwise bossy is not the equivalent of assertiveness or the making of a good leader. You do not have to make your colleagues draw straws to have lunch with a grizzly bear than witness another of your tantrums. Being nice does not make you weak but if people mistake your meekness for weakness, demonstrating utter intolerance will not win you any supporters.

Own your stuff- your attitude, your (passive) aggressions, your actions, your tone. Take the first step by asking a trusted friend to offer constructive critique of your style. Maybe there is something you should fix. If it is you who people always misunderstand, then perhaps it is you who needs to change.

©2023 Tasha D. Manigo-Bizzell